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We’ve seen this Jhalak before

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We’ve seen this Jhalak before

On Indian Television, adaption means three things. Add tears, add bright shiny colours or add both.  India’s version of Dancing with the stars, Jhalak Dikhhla Jaa is back on Colours. A set that looks like Jodha Akbar the sequel and judges like Karan Johar (who fits 50 Hindi words into one second, like he’s afraid to breathe), Remo (the only judge with anything of value to offer) and of course, Madhuri Dixit (Smiles. Then more smiles) and contestants that include the usual motley crew of saas bahu soap  actors and the random musician and sportsman.

The first episode was feel good with many compliments, points scattered like largess and warm slow-mo hugs. It was sugar rush stuff. The contestants are pretty boring and lackluster. Except my girl, Bharti. She’s extremely funny, in love with Remo and she aims to move like a skinny girl. I’m not biased but I absolutely hate Darsheel Safary, Archana Vijaya, Gurmeet Choudhary, Shibani Dandekar, Ravi Kishan, Pratyusha Banerjee and Gia Manek already.

The dances in the first and the second episodes were not spectacular, although they had potential. The hosts are the usual mix of annoying and pathetically funny.

But the problem I have, is that I can already predict what’s going to go down this season already. They’ve all been set up that way.

There will be a controversy over Isha Sharvani. She’s already a dancer and Jhalak Dikhla Ja is meant for non-dancers. Bringing a trained dancer to a show for nondancers is an obvious controversy pothole. The same thing happened in Season 1 with Mona Singh and Shveta Salve.

No season of Jhalak is complete without a contestant-choreographer fight. Every season, one star throws a tantrum to justify their low scores. Then casts accusing Kohl-lined glances at their choreographer.

The two people who will get enough votes to stick by for a while will always be a soap hero and a sportsperson. Remember how Karan Singh Grover made it to the finals despite the most ridiculous dancing? India loves soap heroes. And sportsmen. We get to watch someone with no clue about dancing, attempt to do it, with just the right amount sportsman’s spirit, hard work and humility. I mean, aaaaaw. There was the sweet heart, Mir Ranjan Negi and the endearing Baichung Bhutia. He even managed to win with his fancy footwork. This season it’s Sanath Jaysuriya.

At least one person will forget their moves mid-gyration/decide to opt out of the show. Just like that.

If they could introduce any new overtly dramatic stories, it would really make this season my watch-the-four-hundredth-repeats show.

P.S – I love Bharti.

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