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Our predictions and hopes for 2013

Breaking Bad: Skyler jumps off a cliff and or Walt puts a gun to her head and pulls the trigger out of sheer frustration. Walt and Hank Shreader become cohorts or better, Hank shoots Walt and takes over as Heisenberg. Jesse finds love and settles down. He buys a house that’s filled floor to ceiling with magnets. Yeah, magnets bitches. (Although, we demand at least one scene of him crying this season). Breaking Bad goes down in history as one of the best shows ever.

Mad men: The show takes a leaf out of Ekta Kapoor’s book and takes a generation leap. Joan’s baby and Sally now run their own advertising agency. Or Roger and Joan hook up. Betty gets fatter. Sally gets smarter. Peggy decides she’s into girls. Megan poisons Don. Or Don dies in an unexplained way and continues to be an unpredictable enigma even in his death.

After being nominated and losing the Emmy for five consecutive years, Jon Hamm stabs Damien Lewis and Bryan Cranston on the red carpet.

Homeland: Dana dies in a tragic car accident; Saul becomes head of the CIA (because clearly there are just 2 people left in the entire CIA). Carrie continues to be a wine-gulping maniac and she makes it her life’s mission to clear Brody’s name…then something else blows up. (Side note: it would be lovely if she attended some classes and actually learned to play the trumpet. Our ears would be eternally gratefully)

Arrested development comes back and gives meaning to our lives again.

Carries Diaries either becomes our greatest guilty pleasure or humanity’s doom from an overdose of all things SATC.

Community:  Season 4 completely sucks or kicks ass. Either way, we can’t wait for some more of Troy and Abed on our T-V!

How I met you….oh who cares?

The Golden Globes kick so much ass that Hollywood decided to give up. It cannot possibly get better hosts than Amy Pohler and Tina Fey and from here on out, actors pick up the awards in a Baltimore back alley while a homeless guy plays the guitar.

Arnab Goswami invites Jerry Pinto for a debate. It’s a screaming match like no other.

Sachin Tendulkar joins Jhalak Dikhla Jaa. It’s seems like a real possibility.

The makers of Sherlock take pity on us addicts and decide to give us season three this year instead of 2014.

Kimye’s new little bundle of blinged up, swagged out style gets his own little reality TVshow. Where he squabbles with his blankie, has a fall out with his teddy bear and plans little tea parties in his room where dad gets the tunes and mommy runs around looking important.

Shah Rukh Khan retires. Well we can hope, can’t we?

When this interview was taken in 2009 the tentative release date for sequel to A suitable boy was 2013. Huzzah! The novel, titled A suitable girl is the story of finding a match for Lata’s grandson. The only thing is: deadlines mean nothing to Seth. He’s a literary version of George RR Martin, so readers may just find themselves dealing with the crushing disappointment of having to wait another whole year for the book to be released.

Ranbir Kapoor has an existential crisis. Could it be that he’s gone through every woman in Bollywood in the span of two years? He wants to drink himself to death but then thinks that would be a waste of pretty. He starts dating himself.

People realise they actually can eat food without instagramming it first.

Kittens get ousted and cute little lemurs take over the internet.

The Dr. Horrible sequel comes out in October and other stories

The Dr. Horrible sequel comes out in October and other stories

If you’ve been following Project small fry regularly you’ll know that Neil Patrick Harris has talents that go beyond playing smooth-talking Barney Stintson. We’re talking about Dr Horrible’s sing along blog, the 2008 web-based sensation born purely out of the restless genius of Joss Whedon and the acting prowess (and that free moving blonde eyebrow) of Neil Patrick Harris. Well, we learned this past week that there’s a sequel due somewhere in October and it made us nearly wet ourselves with excitement. Will Dr. Horrible’s new and dangerous life as a member of the super bad league of evil, be cast over with the shadow of his tragic loss?

The Casual Vacancy, JK Rowling’s first non-Potter book for adults will be on shelves in the US and the UK by the end of this month. Or so Little Brown promises. I know you expect to be happy and expectant but I’m a little wary. I’m Potter fan enough to get the book, but should I really believe all this pre-print marketing schtick? Once a writer really reaches the peak of her form, I don’t know, it’s only human to crash and burn. At any rate, this book has big shoes to fill. Huge. Some Felix Felicis might be in order.

Speaking of books, Nilanjana Roy’s The Wildings is out to brilliant reviews.  That’s two debut novelists this year by David Davidar fledgling publishing house Aleph, which really seems to tapping the journalist-turned-author pulse.  And no wonder, if Project Small Fry (yes, we’re a collective now) is any indication of readership, their sales will probably be sky high. Think about it. We devoured Pinto’s articles and then promptly bought the book. We devour Roy’s articles and now that salaries are credited, we’ll be lining up to buy the book. No-brainer really.

We try to be free of political strain, but this was too much for us to bear. I can’t decide what’s funnier about the whole situation. Is it that Eastwood looks like the crypt keeper’s older brother and can’t form a sentence without mumbling? Is it Obama’s tweet in response? Is it the series of web memes that took over the internet? So many angles!


– Sheena

The Bombay writer: A tribute to Jerry Pinto

The Bombay writer: A tribute to Jerry Pinto

Sharanya told me to put off writing this particular tribute. The person, a Bombay-based journalist-poet-novelist-a-whole-bunch-of-other-numerous-things, is way too close to home, she said, and too much of a big fish in the city’s journalist-literary circles. I agreed with her. It’s one thing to sing the praises of Vikram Seth and quite another to go all fan-girl about someone who knows at least two of your former editors. The risk of him reading this and booming out “You’re a terrible writer and you’ve got it all wrong” is too great and too knee-knockingly scary. But two weeks ago I finished reading Em and the Big Hoom, the most recent feather in Jerry Pinto’s already quite feathered cap. I have to do this. Now, as they say, is the hour.

Jerry Pinto, the journalist is faultless. His writing is crisp but detailed; he effortlessly works in mammoth background into his stories and as for his ability to get his point on paper, well, colour me awe-struck. He’s opinionated, well-read and tremendously prolific (The April 13th issue of Time Out tells me he the free press journal started calling itself the free press jerry). Even when he goes absolutely ballistic on national TV, you sense that he knows what’s what and being nice be damned. My mother has a word for the kind of person that Jerry Pinto comes across as. It’s Tana-tan. Rough translation: smart and on-the-ball. And he is that, as far as I can tell from his bylines, his television appearances and his dry but funny tweets (“Narendra Modi is on the cover of Time magazine. He means business but can he lead India, the dying magazine asks. In a word: No.”)

On to Jerry Pinto as a poet. I don’t read poetry for pleasure but I rate a good poem as one that isn’t a linguistically soppy mess that makes you want to slap yourself. I’ll read and like a poem if it’s universal without being banal and painstakingly crafted in terms of language. Free style is all very well but only if the thought and imagery behind it is superlative. Rhythm is important to me too. Think Emily Dickinson. Think E.E Cummings. Think Jerry Pinto.

Em and the Big Hoom. Ah, it was all very Charlie’s golden ticket, for me. The novel, published by fledgling publishing house Aleph, launched in the middle of April which means I couldn’t buy till my salary came in at the beginning of May. For a week, I read no reviews, looked away quickly when the name of the novel came up on Twitter and just waited. As soon as I could, I went and bought the book. It cost Rs 499 and I would have gladly paid double, even if it meant cutting into my food and alcohol budget.

There’s been enough critical appreciation about Em and the Big Hoom, so no, I will not be the 800 millionth person to say how tragic and funny every page is. I will say this. He got it right on three counts. One, the novels narrative tone is lighter than air despite the heavy theme, second, the characters (and I’m not just talking about Em here) are well drawn out and believable, and last but very important: the Goan Roman- Catholic idiom is spot on. (““Muttering Matilda, that Terry put  name for me. I’m saying, “Storming Heaven on your behalf on’y””) I’ve always said, if characters don’t speak like they would in real life then I can’t be bothered wasting my time with them.

I wonder if there are other young, inexperienced, invisible writers like myself, for whom, great bylines work as silent mentors. If it were up to me, I’d follow the man around with a notebook taking notes on what to do and what not to do. But that would get me arrested. Instead, at work and in my personal writing, at the end of every other sentence, I find myself wondering, how would Jerry Pinto write this?

– Sheena

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