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Tag Archives: Breaking Bad

Our predictions and hopes for 2013

Breaking Bad: Skyler jumps off a cliff and or Walt puts a gun to her head and pulls the trigger out of sheer frustration. Walt and Hank Shreader become cohorts or better, Hank shoots Walt and takes over as Heisenberg. Jesse finds love and settles down. He buys a house that’s filled floor to ceiling with magnets. Yeah, magnets bitches. (Although, we demand at least one scene of him crying this season). Breaking Bad goes down in history as one of the best shows ever.

Mad men: The show takes a leaf out of Ekta Kapoor’s book and takes a generation leap. Joan’s baby and Sally now run their own advertising agency. Or Roger and Joan hook up. Betty gets fatter. Sally gets smarter. Peggy decides she’s into girls. Megan poisons Don. Or Don dies in an unexplained way and continues to be an unpredictable enigma even in his death.

After being nominated and losing the Emmy for five consecutive years, Jon Hamm stabs Damien Lewis and Bryan Cranston on the red carpet.

Homeland: Dana dies in a tragic car accident; Saul becomes head of the CIA (because clearly there are just 2 people left in the entire CIA). Carrie continues to be a wine-gulping maniac and she makes it her life’s mission to clear Brody’s name…then something else blows up. (Side note: it would be lovely if she attended some classes and actually learned to play the trumpet. Our ears would be eternally gratefully)

Arrested development comes back and gives meaning to our lives again.

Carries Diaries either becomes our greatest guilty pleasure or humanity’s doom from an overdose of all things SATC.

Community:  Season 4 completely sucks or kicks ass. Either way, we can’t wait for some more of Troy and Abed on our T-V!

How I met you….oh who cares?

The Golden Globes kick so much ass that Hollywood decided to give up. It cannot possibly get better hosts than Amy Pohler and Tina Fey and from here on out, actors pick up the awards in a Baltimore back alley while a homeless guy plays the guitar.

Arnab Goswami invites Jerry Pinto for a debate. It’s a screaming match like no other.

Sachin Tendulkar joins Jhalak Dikhla Jaa. It’s seems like a real possibility.

The makers of Sherlock take pity on us addicts and decide to give us season three this year instead of 2014.

Kimye’s new little bundle of blinged up, swagged out style gets his own little reality TVshow. Where he squabbles with his blankie, has a fall out with his teddy bear and plans little tea parties in his room where dad gets the tunes and mommy runs around looking important.

Shah Rukh Khan retires. Well we can hope, can’t we?

When this interview was taken in 2009 the tentative release date for sequel to A suitable boy was 2013. Huzzah! The novel, titled A suitable girl is the story of finding a match for Lata’s grandson. The only thing is: deadlines mean nothing to Seth. He’s a literary version of George RR Martin, so readers may just find themselves dealing with the crushing disappointment of having to wait another whole year for the book to be released.

Ranbir Kapoor has an existential crisis. Could it be that he’s gone through every woman in Bollywood in the span of two years? He wants to drink himself to death but then thinks that would be a waste of pretty. He starts dating himself.

People realise they actually can eat food without instagramming it first.

Kittens get ousted and cute little lemurs take over the internet.

Ooops, spoilers!

Ooops, spoilers!

Of all first world problems the one that rattles me most is the ‘Spoiler Alert’. And while I agree with Mindy Kaling that you should “be a man about it”, I also hate people who find joy in spoiling things for you.

But lets face it, if you aren’t on top of every show you follow, somebody somewhere is going to ruin it for you. But I do have some tips for you if you want to avoid them all.

– Invest in a pair of noise-cancelling headphones. This is a fool-proof method to ensure you don’t hear your friends gushing about the season finale of Breaking Bad and spend a few days like lonely sad person till you catch up. Wear them everywhere. No place is safe. Your office, the coffee shop, the bar…yes, it will suck to wear a pair of headphones at the bar and you might a miss a whole interesting conversation because you don’t know when they stopped discussing Walter White but hey, at least you don’t know Frank figured out…whoops, sorry.

Image Courtesy: The Interwebz
-Which brings me to the most essential point; the internet or as you could call it, the spoiler universe. If you’ve downloaded the last episode of Homeland but just haven’t managed to watch it yet, it calls for a blanket internet ban. You can check your email on your phone but no twitter, facebook (you know what happened with Talaash) and absolutely no other website. Sure, there is always the ‘spoiler alert’ just before it. What are you supposed to do? Switch you mind off as soon as you see those words? From Guardian to New Yorker to Time magazine they are all minefields of spoilers and analysis and memes and one stray word about a terrorist…

– Watch every episode as it comes out. If you aren’t caught up on a show, call in sick, stay home and watch it. Do not venture out of the house. Don’t call people; they could let something slip. It isn’t even just the drama/thriller shows. I can’t even stand it when people reveal important things about sitcoms. Ooh, did you see the episode when Ben proposes to..lalalallalala.

Television’s whiny wives

Television’s whiny wives

Skyler White from Breaking Bad:

First of all, oh my goodness that jaw. Secondly, we never really understood the word bellyaching till we became acquainted with Mrs White. Nag about this, threaten about that, stick jaw out upto Canada for the other…..Geez. It’s a wonder Walter didn’t start doing meth already. Let him be the bad ass he was always destined to be, you stupid woman.

Jessica Brody from Homeland:

At first, we really liked the svelte Mrs Brody. She had our sympathy in the first half of season one but her descent into society Congress wife really irked us. And sorry, her speech at the fundraiser wasn’t all that great. We all know they clapped because she was hot. She also managed to show her supreme ignorance when she advised Brody to “tell the CIA to back off”. It’s the CIA, lady! Not a classroom bully.

Marla Daniels from The Wire:

For the first two seasons, Marla lived vicariously through her husband’s life because she didn’t have one of her own. “Oh honey, take the bar, screw all this police shit.” Don’t you get that he’s the best lieutenant in all of Baltimore? Then finally, when she decides to get her own career, suddenly he has to pander to her ridiculous husband and wife play acting? Bitch alert.

Betty Draper from Mad Men:

So pretty and so damn annoying. Betty Draper is a classic whiny women who doesn’t know what she wants and when she does, throws a fit about it. She suspects her husband of having affairs but can’t stand up to him about it and usually just ends up yelling at her kids instead. Although we are glad she finally leaves Don, (who leaves Don Draper, who?) her shrill squeak is something we can never get rid off.

Carrie from King of Queens:

Most family-based sitcoms have crazy wives (Modern Family, Everybody loves Raymond, My wife and kids) and husbands who stand by them and love them anyway. But Carrie is a downright bitch. She is mean, awful and super bossy with Doug and it defintely stems from the fact that she thinks she is way out of his league. Just one of these days, I would love to see Doug pick her up and snap her into two.

The wives on Desperate Housewives:

While we have lost track of this show and who’s married to who and who’s having an affair with who, they were all pretty damn bossy, self-centered and needy wives (except Lynette. Felicity Huffman 4 eva) which is of course what led to the aforementioned affairs.

Five television mashups we would love to watch

Five television mashups we would love to watch

Boss meets The Wire:

What the city of Baltimore might be under the tightly controlled reigns of mayor Tom Kane? We can only wonder. But if The Wire ever met Boss, we’d pay good money to see this show. Especially, the epic showdown scene between Stringer Bell and him.

Southpark meets Archer:

A secret mission where super spies Archer and Lana set out to foul the evil plans of the Russians. Enter Eric Cartman and some of his token destruction. Plan foiled! Godammit Cartman! Also, more scope to kill Kenny in ways more violent? Bring it.

Modern family meets Full House:

First of all when DJ, Stephanie, Michelle and Uncle Jesse’s twins get together with Haley, Alex, Luke, Manny, Lily, you don’t just get a Full House, you get a house that bursts at the seams. Also we get the feeling that if Stephanie Tanner got into contact with the destruction minister Luke, she’d probably “how rude” herself to death. Come to think of it, Kimmie Gibler would fit right in with the Dunphy Gang. Maybe they could adopt her and take her away from the Tanners. Gibbler doesn’t deserve that kind of life, the poor thing.

30 Rock meets Parks and Rec:

The ultimate women in comedy, the crazy and borderline gross, Liz Lemon meets the ambitious nut job, Leslie Knope. Ron Swanson meets Jack Donaghy. Donna Meagle meets Tracy Jordon. Tom Haverford meets Jenna. Chris Tregar meets Kenneth Parcel. Boom! Boom!

Breaking Bad meets Arrested Development:

The Bluth family can achieve what no one can. Our bet is Walter White shoots himself out of sheer frustration of dealing with the crazy family. Although, it would be great fun to see Jesse and Gob do their magic.

The Emmy winners are out and other stories

The Emmy winners are out and other stories

The Emmy winners were announced today and we are very excited and a little bit annoyed. Firstly, what? How much cooler and funnier must Parks and Rec, Community and Louie be to be nominated for an Emmy? And hasn’t 30 Rock really run past its expiration date? What kind of world do we live in where Ron Swanson and Abed Nadir don’t even get a nomination for their brilliant performances? Huh?

But yay for Modern Family winning for the third consecutive year and hurrah for Louis CK and Homeland and Aaron Paul and Claire Danes.

Yes, it was a bit tiring that the men on Modern Family monopolize the Supporting Comedy Actor section every year. Which is why I was rooting for Schmidt (played by Max Green field in New Girl) but oh well, Cameron is great too. Ho hum.

Also, Amy Pohler was robbed! Again! And so were Bryan Cranston and Mad Men. Boooo.

P.S – How amazing was Aziz Ansari?! Fish n chips!

Speaking of Bryan Cranston, the meth-cook-in-tighty-whities is directing an episode of Modern Family. Having already directed a few episodes of Malcolm in the Middle as well as Breaking Bad, we know this guy has some serious directing chops. We can’t wait for Modern Family to be back, September 26th is almost here. Also, it’s kind of unnerving to see Heisenberg chilling in a suburban home looking way too normal for comfort.

Fanfiction and its tremendous rise in the past few years is a trend really worth observing. From Harry Potter and Twilight to Desperate Housewives and Friends, writers and fans all over the world are creating incredible plot twists and spinning stories for a large audience that seems to lap them up. Some of them are written beautifully and makes you wonder why these guys aren’t creating their own original work of fiction (Readymade characters with already set personalities are quirks are easier to write about then creating characters of your own and breathing life into them is my opinion). But, most or a large amount of fanfiction is sexual. Character pairings like Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter who get it on in the forbidden forest or incestual relations between Ross and Monica are all over the internet. In this story by Supriya Nair, she explores sexual fanfiction in the world of classic literature and reviews Jane Eyre Laid Bare about, well as you can tell from the title, Jane Eyre’s explicit sex life. Though it is doubtful this will make Charlotte Bronte roll over in her grave considering Jane Eyre is already full of sex, we sure want to know what she would think.

If you are active on Facebook, you might have already seen this link doing the rounds with ‘awwws’ and ‘sooo cutes’. Buzzfeed’s 50 most romantic photographs of all times may or may not have made us weep.

– Sharanya

My show, your show

My show, your show

There is absolutely nothing better than meeting a person who loves television as much as you do. It means there isn’t going to be a dearth of conversation and you won’t ever need to rely on small talk.

If they’ve watched the same shows as you, brilliant! That’s a few hours easily spent talking about Studio 60 and Community. If they haven’t, that’s good too. Then there is that wonderful feeling of recommending something amazing to them (made more wonderful when they watch it and confirm it’s amazingness). You haven’t seen The Wire? Oh my god, give me 4 hours of your life while I tell you in detail why it’s the best thing ever made while simultaneously telling you, you have to watch it to understand it’s brilliance.

The show you say is your favourite is always a telling hint about who you are. Here are the broad categories that TV watchers I have met can be classified into –

The hardcore watcher: They like their shows to be dramatic, hard-hitting and want every scene to make them go “faaaaacck”. No namby-pamby sitcoms for these guys. They like their heart rate at a steady 300 please. Their favourite shows include Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones or Boss.

The honey watcher: The honey watchers might be the ones who share motivational quotes of Facebook and Pinterest, they just might. A bit sickly-sweet, these guys get all their life advice from TV, and will generally use the term ‘heart warming’ to describe a show. They are always on the lookout for a deep meaningful conversation and believe that true love makes the world go around.  They also love to cry. Their favorite shows include Gilmore Girls, Dawson’s creek, Bunheads, Glee or Parks and Rec.

The obvious nerd watcher:  Have you seen Firefly? Is it better than Battlestar Galactica? How can you not have seen Falling Skies? I hate The Big Bang Theory. This type is pretty self-explanatory.

The time-warped watcher:  These are by far the worst kind and I have met so many of them. The ones who talk way too fondly of Friends or Will and Grace. I love both these shows but, god, move on and stop quoting dialogues. I know every dialogue from Friends too but how about waking up in 2012, man. Get an internet connection and change the time setting in your head! If you say how you doin’ one more time, I will punch you. Oh my god, remember that episode when Joey tell Ross to punch him and…shut up!

The always-ready-for-a-fight watcher:  I truly love these kind of people (mostly since I belong to this category). It doesn’t even matter what their favourite show is, it could be The Wire, Six Feet Under, House, Boston Legal or whatever, they will defend it like their annual salary depends on it. You could spend hours telling them that Suits is a speck of dirt on Boston Legal but they will hit you with Harvey Spectre quotes and shake their head at you when you talk about Alan Shore’s epic closing statements till you want to slap them. But they are the best kind. Increasingly, my comeback for everything is, you haven’t seen The Wire? Yeah, you don’t count.

Passionate television watchers of the world, you guys are amazing. This week I have been watching Louie, Go on, Mad Men, Breaking Bad and The Newsroom. Talk to me about these and I’ll love you forever.

Ten list ideas that just didn’t make the cut

Ten list ideas that just didn’t make the cut

This week, we’re letting you in on all the hard work we put in. It’s grueling hours and tons of french toast, and about a million heated debates. These are list ideas that didn’t make the cut.

Things on TV that wouldn’t work in real life. Like the dreamatorium. (But we always suspected they could, if we tried)

Our favorite catchphrases (Cool, cool, cool)

Animated characters that stole our hearts (there were too many)

Disney princesses that would make great feminists (there were too few. Okay okay. There was one.)

Favourite blooper reels

Amazing Parks and Recreation life theories

Ghetto slang we picked up from The Wire

Alternate uses for Joel Mchale’s hair

Ten reasons we would date Andy Dwyer and ten reasons we wouldn’t date Chris Tregar

Why we think we’re now qualified to be drug dealers (It all boiled down to : We watch Breaking Bad)

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