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Our predictions and hopes for 2013

Breaking Bad: Skyler jumps off a cliff and or Walt puts a gun to her head and pulls the trigger out of sheer frustration. Walt and Hank Shreader become cohorts or better, Hank shoots Walt and takes over as Heisenberg. Jesse finds love and settles down. He buys a house that’s filled floor to ceiling with magnets. Yeah, magnets bitches. (Although, we demand at least one scene of him crying this season). Breaking Bad goes down in history as one of the best shows ever.

Mad men: The show takes a leaf out of Ekta Kapoor’s book and takes a generation leap. Joan’s baby and Sally now run their own advertising agency. Or Roger and Joan hook up. Betty gets fatter. Sally gets smarter. Peggy decides she’s into girls. Megan poisons Don. Or Don dies in an unexplained way and continues to be an unpredictable enigma even in his death.

After being nominated and losing the Emmy for five consecutive years, Jon Hamm stabs Damien Lewis and Bryan Cranston on the red carpet.

Homeland: Dana dies in a tragic car accident; Saul becomes head of the CIA (because clearly there are just 2 people left in the entire CIA). Carrie continues to be a wine-gulping maniac and she makes it her life’s mission to clear Brody’s name…then something else blows up. (Side note: it would be lovely if she attended some classes and actually learned to play the trumpet. Our ears would be eternally gratefully)

Arrested development comes back and gives meaning to our lives again.

Carries Diaries either becomes our greatest guilty pleasure or humanity’s doom from an overdose of all things SATC.

Community:  Season 4 completely sucks or kicks ass. Either way, we can’t wait for some more of Troy and Abed on our T-V!

How I met you….oh who cares?

The Golden Globes kick so much ass that Hollywood decided to give up. It cannot possibly get better hosts than Amy Pohler and Tina Fey and from here on out, actors pick up the awards in a Baltimore back alley while a homeless guy plays the guitar.

Arnab Goswami invites Jerry Pinto for a debate. It’s a screaming match like no other.

Sachin Tendulkar joins Jhalak Dikhla Jaa. It’s seems like a real possibility.

The makers of Sherlock take pity on us addicts and decide to give us season three this year instead of 2014.

Kimye’s new little bundle of blinged up, swagged out style gets his own little reality TVshow. Where he squabbles with his blankie, has a fall out with his teddy bear and plans little tea parties in his room where dad gets the tunes and mommy runs around looking important.

Shah Rukh Khan retires. Well we can hope, can’t we?

When this interview was taken in 2009 the tentative release date for sequel to A suitable boy was 2013. Huzzah! The novel, titled A suitable girl is the story of finding a match for Lata’s grandson. The only thing is: deadlines mean nothing to Seth. He’s a literary version of George RR Martin, so readers may just find themselves dealing with the crushing disappointment of having to wait another whole year for the book to be released.

Ranbir Kapoor has an existential crisis. Could it be that he’s gone through every woman in Bollywood in the span of two years? He wants to drink himself to death but then thinks that would be a waste of pretty. He starts dating himself.

People realise they actually can eat food without instagramming it first.

Kittens get ousted and cute little lemurs take over the internet.

Five television mashups we would love to watch

Five television mashups we would love to watch

Boss meets The Wire:

What the city of Baltimore might be under the tightly controlled reigns of mayor Tom Kane? We can only wonder. But if The Wire ever met Boss, we’d pay good money to see this show. Especially, the epic showdown scene between Stringer Bell and him.

Southpark meets Archer:

A secret mission where super spies Archer and Lana set out to foul the evil plans of the Russians. Enter Eric Cartman and some of his token destruction. Plan foiled! Godammit Cartman! Also, more scope to kill Kenny in ways more violent? Bring it.

Modern family meets Full House:

First of all when DJ, Stephanie, Michelle and Uncle Jesse’s twins get together with Haley, Alex, Luke, Manny, Lily, you don’t just get a Full House, you get a house that bursts at the seams. Also we get the feeling that if Stephanie Tanner got into contact with the destruction minister Luke, she’d probably “how rude” herself to death. Come to think of it, Kimmie Gibler would fit right in with the Dunphy Gang. Maybe they could adopt her and take her away from the Tanners. Gibbler doesn’t deserve that kind of life, the poor thing.

30 Rock meets Parks and Rec:

The ultimate women in comedy, the crazy and borderline gross, Liz Lemon meets the ambitious nut job, Leslie Knope. Ron Swanson meets Jack Donaghy. Donna Meagle meets Tracy Jordon. Tom Haverford meets Jenna. Chris Tregar meets Kenneth Parcel. Boom! Boom!

Breaking Bad meets Arrested Development:

The Bluth family can achieve what no one can. Our bet is Walter White shoots himself out of sheer frustration of dealing with the crazy family. Although, it would be great fun to see Jesse and Gob do their magic.

Malcolm McDowell to appear on Community and other stories

Malcolm McDowell to appear on Community and other stories

There’s more news about Community, there’s more news about Community! Following Dan Harmon’s exit from this kickass show, we have actively tried to repress our fear of what Season 4 will bring. But with October 19th looming pretty close, it’s time to scan the interwebs and look, Malcolm McDowell is coming in for two episodes as a history professor, Cornwallis.  If the previous proffessors are anything to go by (Michael K Williams aka Omar), this might just turn out to be community-level of epic. And lest you’ve forgotten how awesome the actors are, here’s a video of all of Alison Brie’s raps.

We love Jennifer Garner for Juno, Ty Burrell for Modern Family and Olivia Wilde for House MD. And as if to make our dreams come true, they are coming together along with some butter for a new movie. Called Butter. Yup. With so many of our favorite things in one movie, we can’t wait for this movie about butter sculpting and the trailer is absolutely kooky.

This month, with Curiosity sending us pictures of Mars and Neil Armstrong’s death had us thinking of what marvelous space exploration will see in our lifetime. Not being great fans of space technology (or even fiction of that kind), to me, it is amazing in the most basic stupid way, like it would be to a child. We sent real human beings on the moon. The moon. A satellite with no gravity that we can see from Earth. Men have been there. The thought puts so many things in perspective. As Armstrong said, “I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn’t feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.” As a bonus, here’s NBC News declaring ‘Neil Young’ the first man on the moon, dead. RIP Neil Armstrong. And of course, tributes are also in order for AK Hangal, the man who gave us ‘itna sannata kyun hai bhai’ and the ‘he’s still alive?’ jokes. RIP.

If like us you’ve been excited (read jumping up and down like a bunny on crack) about Season 4 of Arrested Development, you must have already seen the pictures from the set and have already started re-watching Season 1 like a true fan.  And you’ve also probably seen these 53 Arrested Development jokes you probably missed, but we are going to share it anyway. Talk about an eye for detail.

– Sharanya

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