Of all first world problems the one that rattles me most is the ‘Spoiler Alert’. And while I agree with Mindy Kaling that you should “be a man about it”, I also hate people who find joy in spoiling things for you.
But lets face it, if you aren’t on top of every show you follow, somebody somewhere is going to ruin it for you. But I do have some tips for you if you want to avoid them all.
– Invest in a pair of noise-cancelling headphones. This is a fool-proof method to ensure you don’t hear your friends gushing about the season finale of Breaking Bad and spend a few days like lonely sad person till you catch up. Wear them everywhere. No place is safe. Your office, the coffee shop, the bar…yes, it will suck to wear a pair of headphones at the bar and you might a miss a whole interesting conversation because you don’t know when they stopped discussing Walter White but hey, at least you don’t know Frank figured out…whoops, sorry.
-Which brings me to the most essential point; the internet or as you could call it, the spoiler universe. If you’ve downloaded the last episode of Homeland but just haven’t managed to watch it yet, it calls for a blanket internet ban. You can check your email on your phone but no twitter, facebook (you know what happened with Talaash) and absolutely no other website. Sure, there is always the ‘spoiler alert’ just before it. What are you supposed to do? Switch you mind off as soon as you see those words? From Guardian to New Yorker to Time magazine they are all minefields of spoilers and analysis and memes and one stray word about a terrorist…
– Watch every episode as it comes out. If you aren’t caught up on a show, call in sick, stay home and watch it. Do not venture out of the house. Don’t call people; they could let something slip. It isn’t even just the drama/thriller shows. I can’t even stand it when people reveal important things about sitcoms. Ooh, did you see the episode when Ben proposes to..lalalallalala.